| Judah's Kiss - 2 - "You are the parent and you are taking care of all those important decisions and all they have to do is be a kid . . . do the dishes, do their homework and have manners. But we're very lucky. She's a great kid and a great communicator." Tapert says while he's Daisy's parent, he's not her dad and would never try to be. "There was never any confusion about who dad was." Tapert, raised in Detroit, says he came from a family where it was expected the children would do chores for two to five hours a week from the age of around five or six. "My upbringing was closer to what kids get on a farm. You are expected to be a member of the family that contributed in a physical sense; you shared the workload." Both Tapert and Lawless were raised as Catholics and say the common belief system, "common origin" has strengthened their relationship. When Lawless went to meet Tapert's family, he says she realised how similar their family backgrounds were. "The mid-west is a lot like Mt Albert, it really is." Both enjoy large families ? but Lawless reckons if she has no more kids, she's done her bit for populating the planet. "I could happily stop at three. If I ever find myself in that pool again grunting and groaning . . ." For Tapert, having his own family has given him a different perspective on what matters. "When I first met Rob he had cultivated a family in his workers and young producers he mentored. When he had his own kids, they had to be released ? off the emotional payroll." Julius suffers when dad is away working, says Lawless. "He goes shopping for a new father figure. He visits the other tables in restaurants and chats to all the men . . . when he feels he's surrounded by all the women in the house." The physical guy things a father can share with his sons are important, says Tapert, who wants his children to grow up in New Zealand ? or at least, not in Los Angeles. "It's not a great environment for children. It's a hard place to put down roots. It is an incredibly materialistic town." After both have taken a year off work, they're heading back to the US for the northern summer. "I've never seen Rob so relaxed as he is these days," says Lawless who is planning to return to work ? because she loves it. "Economically these days, a lot of women have to work. Some days I'm driving around this spectacularly beautiful city and I just think `This is what's important'. I'm driving my kids and the days just float by like clouds. The sea glitters. It's stellar. And I forget that dry old LA is waiting to suck the life out of me and that there must be something in that that I really like. I want to work. Women these days have come to expect to be fulfilled outside the home. Personally I don't know that I personally would be fulfilled (by full time mothering). I kinda wish I was one of them." Lawless has a nanny in Auckland five days a week, and had a German nanny in LA ? Lawless speaks the language and tries to speak German to her children. So how does she keep the kids grounded? "Look, you can take the girl out of Mt Albert . . . . They have a normal home environment because they have parents who expect them to be good contributing members of the family and society." And yes, sometimes it all goes pear-shaped when the baby is unsettled, Julius might want her to stop spending so much time with Judah and Daisy wants to be driven somewhere . . . But she knows she is blessed with the help she gets. "It's bliss. I'm not vacuuming my own rugs or anything. Weekends are a bit tough ? during the week I swan around with my babies. I am in a very unique position." Maybe not so unique. As we leave, Judah is into his second hour of screaming and Lawless is still jiggling him on her knee or walking him around the house. Not unique at all. The princess is a mum. · The new Starship heart unit is expected to treat more than 1000 heart kids nationally each year, with close to 400 operations performed. The heart unit will move to Starship from Green Lane Hospital next year and is expected to open next year. The money being raised in the appeal Lawless fronts will buy a bi-plane x-ray machine, a vital tool in the diagnosis and treatment of many children with heart problems. · The Starship annual appeal runs this month with the sale of $3 star bears from any ASB Bank or The Warehouse. You can also donate at www.starship.org.nz |
