As the night air surrounded her, she tried to work through her mothers words, yet was unable to understand precisely
what it was that they were trying to tell her. Although she was fairly certain that what she had done with Virgil was very
wrong, she didn’t fully understand why they thought it was wrong except that they were worried that she might get
pregnant. Truth be told, as frightening as that had sounded, Ari knew she didn’t want to have any part of it!
“Ari, it’s cold! Close the window and come to bed,” Eve’s sleepy voice commanded.
The dark child glanced over her shoulder once, then turned and closed the window. When she moved to the bed, she
removed her clothing and climbed under the cool covers. As she laid there, she stared up at the ceiling, her mind soaring
through a multitude of thoughts. She still did not fully understand what the word love meant. Until she joined Xena and
Gabrielle, Ari had never been shown love, so it was something that she knew nothing about. All she knew about the word
was that her parents wanted her to wait until she found this ominous thing in another person before she shared her body
with them.
“What I did with Virgil might be wrong in my mothers’ eyes, but by the gods, it felt good!” She shivered. Not only did it
feel very good, but also it was the only way, short of cutting herself, that she was able to keep the sensations of numbness
away. Her mothers’ disappointment pretty much let Ari know that cutting herself was no longer an option. But if she
could not fight the numbness away like this, and they didn’t want her to be nice to Virgil, or other men for that matter, then
what was there left to do when the frightening feelings of separation began; perhaps with another woman? “At least the
pregnancy danger would then be minimal,” she thought.
Eve rolled over and yawned, then grumbled slightly before opening her eyes. “What’s the matter, Ari, can’t sleep?”
Ari only shrugged as she maintained her silence.
“Ari, I’m sure it will blow over. Did you get into a lot of trouble?” Eve asked as she rested a hand on the girl’s arm.
When Ari stiffened, the young woman sighed next to her. “Yeah, I was listening at the door. I heard pretty much all of it.”
Ari wasn’t certain how to answer. “T-They are d-disappointed.”
Eve remained silent, then, in an unusual gesture, she reached out and pulled her sister close to her. When Ari’s head was
pillowed on her shoulder, the prophet sighed as her fingers stroked through her sister’s dark hair. After a moment like
this, the dark child glanced at her sister through the diffused light from the waning moon.
“E-Eve?”
“Yes?” Her sister’s hand never stopped stroking Ari’s hair.
“I-I … didn’t understand what they were trying to tell me.”
Eve seemed to contemplate her words, then shifted in the bed slightly. “Ari, I think the most important thing to remember
is that you should wait until you love the person that you share yourself with. The rest of it, well, I don’t know how much
of that matters.”
“B-But…?”
“Ari, one rule of thumb that I follow is that when it comes to our mothers, nothing is ordinary. I can’t look at either mom
and assume that everyone is like them, I mean, think about it, how many people do you know have actually gone through
what they have? How many have lived and died and come back again?” she shook her head, then grew still as if in deep
thought.
“Come to think of it, I don’t know of anyone who’s ever lived most of their life in a magical cave either,” Eve softly
chuckled. “I guess that would mean that I’m the normal, ordinary, boring one of the family, huh?” She grinned ruefully.
“T-That’s good?” Ari asked.
“Damned if I know, but I don’t think it matters either way,” Eve said as Ari felt her eyelids closing. As she felt herself
slowly drifting, she asked one more question that had been plaguing her mind.
“Eve, what is it like?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Do you mean, love?”
“Ahuh,” was Ari’s soft reply.
“It’s the most wonderful feeling to experience, Ari. It’s like everything in the world is brighter, and the birds seem to be
singing only for you,” her sister’s words floated to her senses as she drifted slowly into sleep. “And when you’re laying in
your lover’s arms, you finally realize what it truly means to be home…” was the last thing the dark child heard as her
dreams took her to a far away land filled with peace, and calm. It was a fairy tale land that never saw pain or sorrow – a
place where Ari longed to someday be….
~~~~~~
As the complaints of the crickets sounded in the tall blades of grass, Virgil stood frozen in the darkness like at statue. He
made certain that Ari did not see him. When she finally closed the window, he released a soft sigh as he moved out from
the dark shadows of the nearby trees.
He stood there with his thoughts running wildly through his head. He did not know how he could have been so wrong.
Deep down inside, he wanted to believe that he was right, that she loved him and wanted him. But even as this thought
entered his mind, he had to concede that he was wrong. A part of him had known it all the time, but he didn’t want to
believe it. Virgil had seen how sick she looked. He had known that she had difficulties around people yet he wanted to
believe that she was with him of her own free will.
“What an idiot I am,” he whispered softly as he turned away from the home of his friends and walked dejectedly down the
dirt road in the silvery light of the crescent moon.
“Father, I sure could use you now,” he whispered softly as he stopped one last time and looked back at the darkened
home. With a shake of his head, he mounted his horse and quietly sat. Not even the pain of his throbbing nose hurt as
bad as the pain in his heart.
Even if his father was still alive, Virgil doubted that he would be able to help him. “After all, dad, how could you
understand this? It’s not like you were ever in love with someone you could never have,” he thought to himself before he
reined his horse around towards Amphipolis. With a sad sigh, he turned his attention to the dark road as he tried to wipe
the memory of Ari from his battered thoughts.
Sins of the Mother - Misunderstandings
