What? Don?t you think I deserve to be mad? How would you feel if your mother threw you out, and then some monster took
you away? How would you feel to live day after day knowing that you couldn?t do anything to make Alti stop hurting yo? Oh,
you are clever! But I?m still smarter than you are! You thought you were going to get me to tell you things. You want me to
paint a picture for you so you can satisfy your own perverse need to know. Disgusting!
Let?s get something straight here. Whatever you know, whatever you tell others, it?s only because I let you know. You may
not realize this, but I?m the one with power. Oh yes, that?s true, I am! How else would you think you could see into me? And
even what you see, it?s not really me. Why? Because you?re too dim-witted to understand! No one will ever understand me
because their brains aren?t big enough to comprehend it and besides, I won?t tell you. That?s right! What you know, you only
know because I let you know. Now shut up if you want to learn more.
What?s the matter? Don?t have any more prodding questions? Cat got your tongue! Ha Ha, cat got your tongue!
There is one thing I?ve learned and that is people only want to hurt you. No one cares about anyone else. No one has a single
ounce of kindness in them. They just look out for themselves. They only want what others have, and then when they get it,
they find ways to keep everyone else from taking it away from them. That?s just how it is and the sooner people realize this, the
closer they?ll be to understanding all of it.
Look at Alti! That?s the first pig I lived with, remember? Pay attention if you want to know! Alti, she wanted Xena but she
couldn?t have her, so instead, she settled for me. We were going to rule the world together, she and I! What? What are you
talking about? Alti hurt me? Not all the time. Sometimes she was really nice to me, like the time when a man she brought home
hurt me really bad. She thought she could trust him and when she went away for food, he took a hot metal rod and? never
mind. It?s not important what he did, what I?m trying to tell you is that as soon as Alti came back and caught him, she took
care of him straight away! No more problems with that one! So, you see, there were times when she was really nice to me.
What? Xena nice to me? Nah, the only reason she?s nice to me is because she feels guilty. Yes she does, I know what she?s
about. She says she loves me and that she would never let anyone hurt me again. But that?s what Alti said after she took care of
that mean man and remember what happened next? What do you mean you don?t remember? I showed you. Aren?t you
paying attention at all? Soon after Alti promised to not let anyone ever hurt me again, she brought home that other guy, the big
fat pig. Remember now? Yeah, I thought you would. How can anyone forget how bad he smelled and the way he grunted like a
hog when he was? never mind! I?m trying to say that Xena says she loves me and wouldn?t let anyone hurt me, but she?s lying,
it?s just words.
Words, words, words, never put trust in the words of a turd! Ha Ha!
The point is, Xena doesn?t mean anything she tells me. She?s just saying it to make herself feel good. She has some ridiculous
guilt thing going and she thinks if she?s nice to me, and takes care of me, it will go away?
Huh? No, I?m not sad. I was just thinking? wondering if the ugly bitch is ever going to rid herself of her guilt. Maybe if it
works? no, it?s a dumb idea. It will never work, besides, what do I care. I don?t care what happens to Xena. It?s not like
she?s anything to me.
Stop looking at me like that. You don?t know anything! All you do is sit back and watch, and then you think you know what
it?s all about. You keep hoping that the more tidbits of information you learn, the closer to the truth you?ll be. What?s worse?
You honestly think Xena cares about me and wants to help me! Ha Ha!
By the gods, how clueless you are! I could tell you everything and you still wouldn?t understand a thing! That?s right, you
wouldn?t because you?re like the rest of them! Look, I?m going to tell you one piece of truth and I bet you still won?t
understand it. Here it is, are you listening? Good, pay attention! We can?t choose our mothers.
What do you mean you already knew that? Of course you didn?t, otherwise you wouldn?t be going on and on about how
wonderful Xena is. I bet you think I?m lucky to have her as a mother, don?t you? Well guess what! I didn?t choose her and if I
could, I would have chosen someone else. Don?t look at me like that; you know perfectly well what I mean. If I had my
choice, I?d choose a mother who would always be kind and sweet, someone who would never have a harsh word for me.
She?d always be there to give me encouragement and she?d always love me just because? even if I was the vilest person that
roamed through Greece. Most of all, the mother I chose would never, ever throw me away or let anyone do anything nasty to
me. But guess what? We can?t choose our mothers and whom we get is who we?re stuck with, so I?m stuck with the ugly
hag.
Sad? No, I?m not sad. I?ve learned to live with this fact. You?d do well to learn it too. What? Nothing! Can?t a person sigh
without having a reason?
See that woman who just came out of the house? Yeah, she?s really pretty. She?s the filthy pig?s mate, and to be honest, I
don?t know what she sees in Xena. Gabrielle is so nice and sweet. She never has a bad word or raises her voice. When she
talks to you, it?s like she is listening to every word you say because your words are important. Gabrielle is the only one who
truly loves me. Why? What are you, a half-wit? I don?t know why I trust her, I just do?
Maybe I can just tell that she?s a kind person. She was always there when I was sick. Did you know that I almost died? Oh
yeah, right. I told you about that already. Well, I almost died, I think a part of me wanted to die, but Gabrielle was with me the
whole time. It didn?t matter that she was tired. She sat by my side every day. Sometimes when I was in the fever, I heard her
talking, telling me stories. I didn?t always understand them, but I liked hearing her voice. What? Yeah, I do remember a song?
vaguely. Something about throwing an Amazon child into a fire? I guess they taste better cooked, or something. Whatever!
What I am trying to say is that Gabrielle was always there for me and she?s the kindest person I?ve ever met, except for that
lady from town. I haven?t seen her again since the last time I was in the forest. I guess she?s busy in town or something.
What? No I don?t know what the lady?s name is! Geeze? besides, I?m not talking about her, I?m talking about Gabrielle so shut
up!
