“Alaya, why did you have to leave me?” Zara whispered as she gazed up at the moon, its bluish white hues changing colors
before her eyes. As she watched the changing colors, she wondered if the swirling patterns were a hallucination of the hashish
or if she was a witness to the magic of the universe. Before she could contemplate it further, a low sweet voice nearby broke
her concentration.
“Zara?” the voice approached. Turning, she glanced up at the figure walking near her. The captain’s vision was clouded,
then the hashish in her bloodstream brought the figure into focus and showed her what she had so long wanted to see.
Dressed in a long dark cape, the woman reached up and pulled down the hood. With long dark hair, brown complexion,
sparkling green eyes, and a soft smile, Alaya seemed to float to her, then knelt by the captain and smiled.
“Alaya…” Zara fought back her tears as she reached up and lightly touched her love’s soft cheek, “I miss you so much.”
Her spirit twin was silent, then, she spoke so softly, “I know,” the sweet song of Alaya’s voice was so soft and soothing to
Zara’s ears.
“I-I… forgive me, please...” the Moroccan no longer tried to hold back her tears as she lowered her head in shame, “I-I
failed you... I could do nothing to-to s-save youuuu…” Her failure to protect her lover and her inability to even stop what
had happened bored a hole into the Moroccan’s soul out of which all the joy in her life seemed to continually flow. Unable to
control herself, she buried her head into Alaya’s warm embrace as her tears flowed freely.
“There is nothing to forgive,” her love’s voice was like a soft melody as she took Zara in her arms and held her close.
As Gabrielle knelt by the weeping captain, she rocked the taller woman in her arms and looked up helplessly at Xena. With a
look of sadness, the warrior princess gazed at the Moroccan. She slightly smiled at her Amazon lover, then shrugged her
shoulders at the blonde’s wordless question.
“Who’s Alaya?” Gabrielle mouthed.
“Alaya was Zara’s soulmate, Gabrielle.” Xena sighed. “The concubine she went with looked a lot like her, and under the
influence of the hashish… Zara thought she was Alaya… Just like she thinks you are Alaya, right now.” The ghost warrior
explained with a sad look.
“Oh,” Gabrielle nodded as everything suddenly became clear.
At the moment, she did not know or even care how Zara had come to be so far out into the jungle, all she knew was that the
Moroccan was cold. As the sweet smell of hashish hung to the captain’s clothes, Gabrielle tried to coax her to stand, but the
Moroccan only clung to her and sobbed harder. Finally, the petite woman shrugged at the warrior ghost, and settled herself
next to the dusky woman, wrapping her cloak around the broad shoulders and rocked her like a baby, whispering tenderly,
“Shhhh, it’s all right, Zara. Don’t cry, I’m right here beside you.”
“Take care of her, Gabrielle, she needs you.” Xena whispered. “I’ll see you later.” And she faded away like a dying candle.
~~~~~~
Zara woke to the sound of a strange animal crying in the trees. When she opened her eyes, the sudden pain began to pound
in her head. Glancing down, she saw the blonde sleeping below her. Her chest rose slowly with each breath she took. As
the captain tried to remember the faint images of the night before, she sat up, wincing at the pain in her side.
Feeling her movement, Gabrielle woke with a tired yawn as she sat up, looking at Zara with concerned eyes. “Are you all
right?” she asked softly as her healer instincts took control.
The Moroccan tried to still be mad at the Greek as she brushed away the small hands. Ignoring her actions, Gabrielle only
sighed as she continued to examine her reluctant patient.
“You know, if you keep hurting yourself, all of my work is for nothing,” Gabrielle kept her voice soft as she examined the
stitches that were hidden under the captain’s dark hair. Assured that they were intact, she lightly pushed against her lover until
she leaned against the tree trunk. With a grimace of pain, the captain winced as the healer reached under her shirt and
examined her ribs.
“You’re lucky this time. Not broken, but defiantly bruised,” the blonde tsked as she lifted the shirt slightly and glanced at the
discoloration, “Yep. That’s defiantly going to stay purple for awhile,” she shook her head.
“I hope she was worth it,” Gabrielle tried to tease as she smiled at her lover.
Embarrassed to be found in this condition, Zara kept her head bowed, a slight sigh escaped her control. When it seemed like
she would not respond, the healer gently took her chin and forced the woman to look at her.
“Hey you, I’m talking to you,” she smiled as she gazed into the depths of Zara’s dark blue eyes. At the serious expression on
her lover’s face, Gabrielle gave her a light smile, then softly stroked the palm of her hand over the captain’s soft cheek. “It
was a joke.”
At the healers words, the Moroccan woman felt her wall of control slowly crumble. Blinking, she tried to turn away from the
blonde, but the woman would not remove her hand from the captain’s face. The tall woman fought to pull her sanctuary back
into place. She tried, in vain, to will the flood of emotions to stay safely locked within the darkness of her soul.
“G-Gabrielle…” Zara’s voice sounded alien to her own ears as she tried to form her thoughts. “I… I do not know….”
“You know, if you keep hurting yourself, all of my work is for nothing,” Gabrielle kept her voice soft as she examined the
stitches that were hidden under the captain’s dark hair. Assured that they were intact, she lightly pushed against her lover until
she leaned against the tree trunk. With a grimace of pain, the captain winced as the healer reached under her shirt and
examined her ribs.
“You’re lucky this time. Not broken, but defiantly bruised,” the blonde tsked as she lifted the shirt slightly and glanced at the
discoloration, “Yep. That’s defiantly going to stay purple for awhile,” she shook her head.
“I hope she was worth it,” Gabrielle tried to tease as she smiled at her lover.
Embarrassed to be found in this condition, Zara kept her head bowed, a slight sigh escaped her control. When it seemed like
she would not respond, the healer gently took her chin and forced the woman to look at her.
“Hey you, I’m talking to you,” she smiled as she gazed into the depths of Zara’s dark blue eyes. At the serious expression on
her lover’s face, Gabrielle gave her a light smile, then softly stroked the palm of her hand over the captain’s soft cheek. “It
was a joke.”
At the healers words, the Moroccan woman felt her wall of control slowly crumble. Blinking, she tried to turn away from the
blonde, but the woman would not remove her hand from the captain’s face. The tall woman fought to pull her sanctuary back
into place. She tried, in vain, to will the flood of emotions to stay safely locked within the darkness of her soul.
“G-Gabrielle…” Zara’s voice sounded alien to her own ears as she tried to form her thoughts. “I… I do not know….”
Unable to stop the flow of pain, the dark woman buried her face in Gabrielle’s shoulder as her tears fell freely.
“I-I… d-did not mean to… I… do not want to h-hurt you,” Zara tried to explain through tears, the headache from the
morning compounded by her tears, “the woman… the concubine… s-she… looked so much like…” the captain choked up
when she thought of her spirit twin and how much she missed her, “that is what she would have looked like if… if they had
not… m-murdered her.”
“Shush, it’s ok. I understand,” the blonde pulled her closer, held her tighter as she tried to comfort and protect her lover.
When it seemed that Zara’s tears were subsiding, Gabrielle took the hem of her cotton shirt and wiped her lover’s eyes.
“How old were you both?”
