HABÁNAME, Chapter 7                                                   - 2 -
kicked her when she said she needed to look at my bottom. I can?t believe they all told their parents. I just really wanted the lunchbox and I figured if they felt really sorry for me I could ask Louise for it. Scam ?em and wham ?em like Willie and Ruthie say. And they should know, they get lots of stuff from stuff they tell people. They even get cigarettes for us by telling Brother Andrew that they are gonna tell about him showing us his wiener unless he gives us a pack every week. Ceci and Bridget and Connie don?t get a lot of stuff. They pray the Rosary to get things and they say that I should too. Well I tried it, and look at Da?s leg. It didn?t work. That?s Connie dragging me down the stairs after the ladies leave. She?s yelling at me that the saints need to help her and Ma so that they don?t kill me for being such a liar and getting the family in trouble.  I?m a little worried at first, because I think that she?s gonna take me into an alley and really wallop me, and then I remember ?No this isn?t Ruthie, it?s Connie ? she won?t hit.? She pulls me into the church, which is empty except for these two ladies praying real loud in Italian to one of the saints. I wish we had a secret language that God would listen to too. Connie says she?s gonna light a candle for me and she wants me to light one too, and she gives me a nickel to put into the box next to where they leave you the matches. I?m gonna keep the nickel but I do want to light a candle. There are lots of altars but I really like girls the best, so I skip all the boy saints and Jesus. I?m gonna do a Mary today, although Joan of Arc is my fave. Sister Dierdre who used to be an actress before she got called did the whole story for us, including the horse screaming as the flames came up around him. The Marys are all plaster with painted on clothes and faces. But whoa! There is a new one today, one like the boy saints that the Spanish people brought when they joined the parish. It has real clothes, with real beads and ribbons running all around it. She is covered in blue and white shiny gems and her hair is like a wig ? very black. Our Lady of Regla. Like Regular. Funny name, so I laugh. Well I know Ruggles is a stop on the Orange line of the T. I wish I was a better girl so I could leave the nickel too, but I?m not. It must be the devil in me. So I just light the candle. She is riding on these plaster waves and there are little angels floating over the water. Shit Chela, you?ve always known me, haven?t you? Oh fuck, this is new. This is new. Hang in there little girl. I am shaking because the devil is really here ? just like in the movie I wasn?t supposed to be watching last night because it was too grown up. He laughs really loud like a bad Santa Claus and my candle blows out. He has a silver dollar and he puts it in the box and picks up the matches. He is going to burn the Mary and I start screaming for help but Connie doesn?t hear me. I try to put my nickel in the box but it won?t go in. I don?t know why I think it will help. I want him to burn me instead but he is flying around her really fast in circles and everywhere that he touches her little flames come out, and the Mary has woken up. She is screaming louder than Sister Dierdre when she showed us how the horse died. I start patting the parts that are burning and it hurts my hands bad, really bad, but I don?t want to stop. I don?t know who is screaming louder anymore, me or the burning Mary? ?Ma?am?.ma?am, wake up. You?re disturbing the other passengers. Also I need for you to put your seat back up. We?ve started our descent into Boston.? ~~~~~~ Los Cocos Chela sat expectantly at the picnic table, with the honey rolls spread on a wax paper sheet before her. It was a warm day and the visitation yard was full. She looked around her, taking in the numerous clusters of family groups ? islands of love that broke through the austerity of the institution and made her feel acutely estranged from her kin. The prospect of making the trip to Los Cocos on a regular basis to maintain contact with the exception to this pattern ? with Tomás ? depressed her. She nodded politely to a nurse who approached her to leave two containers of milk and a bowl of sausages on the table. At least what they said appears to be true. They are even serving good food to the visitors. The people who are skinny here are sick, not starved. She had been waiting for a half hour before the back door of the massive sanatorium building swung open and her brother walked out, accompanied by a male nurse. Look at him, Chela thought to herself. Nothing affects him ? he is peaceful and smiling, as always. ?Chelita,? said the youth warmly as he straddled a bench. ?You have barely given me time to settle in! This is Armando, and he is going to be taking care of me here. I told him that if you were my visitor, there would be honey rolls.? Chela watched in mild irritation as the older man tentatively prodded one of the pastries with his fingers. ?You know, compañero, this is my brother. You don?t have to sit here to make sure we don?t have relations!? ?Chela!? chided Tomás gently. ?I invited him to come. He has been telling me about how the food for visitation is better than what they give the staff so I wanted him to share the meal with us.? ?And, compañera,? rumbled Armando through a mouthful of sausage and pastry, ?the compañerito has really helped me understand some problems I?m having with my family. His knowledge of what is happening is incredible. Word is spreading through the entire facility that a very powerful young babalawo has been interned here. I understand if you wish to speak to him privately ? let me just have a little milk.? He drank clumsily from a funnel-shaped paper cup, letting a few drops of the liquid trickle down the sides of his acne-scarred chin before swiping them up with the sides of his finger and licking it. ?I?m so sorry. I?m behaving like an animal,? he confessed bashfully. ?I don?t remember the last time I had any real milk. We get some watered-down stuff for our children, but this is the real thing. All right, I will be headed back in then. Have a good visit. And compañero Stevens? Anything your godparents want to bring you for your altar will be fine with me. I?ll make sure it goes through untouched.? He bowed his head politely to both Chela and her brother before retreating into the main edifice. ?You see, Chela?? smiled Tomás as he twirled a sausage with his fingers. ?This is perfect for me. Juan and the other members of my house are going to visit and keep teaching me here, and this is a place where the power of the Orishas is very badly needed. The people in this place are desperate for peace and for company. I can provide that for them.? He paused and looked carefully at the puffiness under Chela?s eyes. ?She has gone away?? ?For two weeks,? she whispered in response. ?And I cannot imagine how it will be if she leaves me for good. Even this brief separation is breaking me. I am surprised? I have always been able to pull myself together and do what needs to be done. When Papá left, when I had to leave school, the business?? ?I know that this is different, Chela. All those other things you mention ? even our father ? they were never part of you the way she has become. I hope that it ends well,? said her brother sadly. ?I wish I knew what your fate means and how to influence it, but Juan has always said that your path was shrouded in uncertainty and pain. I can only love you - and pray.? ?Well, I am going to influence my fate.? Chela forced the words out through her frown. ?Starting with the fact