| - 2 - |
|
| who is the gentle lamb of our home! This is my fault! I have not been paying attention to what is going on in his life. When is the last time I sat down and really spoke with him? It must be almost a year that we only have brief moments of trading news when I stop by the house, or when he comes for Mamá?s money. She ached to take him in her arms and rock him, to press kisses into his fine hair. It will be a long year! ?I am so sorry you have gone through this without me at your side,? whispered Chela as a tear made its way down her cheek. Tomás smiled tenderly at her and reached out to brush it away, barely catching himself in time before his fingers would have stroked her face. ?My beloved sister, Mamá didn?t have the money ready for medications, so no real damage was done. And you must believe me, Chela ? I am very happy now! Everything is as it should be. Juan is getting ready to pass over, and he says that my training is the final task he must accomplish. And in his house, my having a strong aspect that is woman-like works for me, not against me. It is easier for me to work with both male and female Orishas.? ?Wait,? interjected Chela in confusion. ?What do you mean that Mamá was out of money? I just sent a thousand dollars three weeks ago.? ?Well, Chela,? said the boy slowly, ?that is one of the things I have to talk to you about tonight. My initiation cost about two thousand dollars in materials. Juan put in all but five hundred himself ? he says that he won?t be taking any money with him when he flies away to Guinea, so he may as well spend it on me. I already gave his house five hundred dollars from what you sent last time.? Chela gagged. ?You?you took five hundred dollars,? she croaked. ?Yes,? replied Tomás, his voice gaining in confidence. ?But, Chela you need to know that this is my destiny. I am not just being made a part of the house. I am going to be a Babalawo in my own right ? the youngest Juan has ever trained. He says I am to be a great priest. And Chela?? He waited for her to meet his eyes. ?You will never have to worry about me again ? as a Babalawo from a great house, I will have security for the rest of my life, however long it should turn out to be.? ?What do you mean?? asked Chela in disbelief as she raised her hands up to her face and squeezed against the temples, attempting to center herself within the disturbing conversation. ?What do you mean about however long it will be?? ?Juan says that this is my calling and that I am worth training, whether I fly to Guinea as an old white-haired grandpa or I go before my moustache grows out to its thickness. That is my reading, my fate.? Chela looked again at the boy whose eyes seemed to transform before hers into those of an old man, whose words seemed to come to her from a place of many decades? serenity. My Cuba, is it that all your children are skipping over their youth, or that my brother has indeed found special favor with your saints? ?Is there someone you can ask for another five hundred dollars to replace what I used?? asked Tomás gently. Virgin of Regla, I would wish that there were someone else ? but there really is not unless I try to work at night again ? and the good money comes from being company in the daytime as well. It would interfere with my main job. Ay, Barbara. I hope that you don?t think less of me for behaving like all the others who leach off foreigners. ?There is someone,? affirmed Chela. Tomás smiled broadly, and rocked back to support himself on his arms, stretching out his legs. ?I thought so,? he said lightly, a note of joy entering his voice. Chela felt the atmosphere of the room change, as she perceived what almost seemed a tangible cloud of relief and contentment emanating from the boy. ?Juan said as much ? that your Changó was nearby. What is he like, Chela? You know not to let fear keep you away from him.? Chela looked at the floor and laughed. ?What is it?? asked Tomás, deeply intrigued by his sister?s response. ?The child of Changó who has come into my life is a woman ? a big, funny woman who likes to suck on sugar cane, and who?s mind likes to go in a thousand directions all at once,? sighed Chela. She looked up shyly at her little brother, and offered him the hint of a smile. ?And you are right to speak to me of fear. This is more complicated than I am willing to take on right now. Beyond the fact that she is a woman, she is also a Yanqui.? She scuffed her toe on the floor, waiting for Tomás to respond. When he did not, she continued. ?I am just trying to avoid problems, and to avoid suffering. Our family has been through enough. I have been through enough.? ?Ah, but Chela,? said the boy seriously, ?there is little you can do stop the suffering in our family. That is a useless quest. Our father explained it to me very well the other night, and he was most insistent that I convey that message to you.? Chela was so taken aback by the words that a wave of dizziness came over her and her breathing quickened. ?You have seen him?? she gasped. ?Yes, Chela,? intoned Tomás with some amusement. ?But it is not as you think?He walks with the ancestors now, Chela. He came to me in a dream.? ?So you don?t really know that he is dead,? protested Chela. ?Ay, my sister,? replied Tomás. ?I do know ? you may doubt it ? but I do know! It is not a sad thing, Chela. He is at peace. And what is more important is what he learned in those lands as he made his way and as he remembered us.? She was hearing the boy?s voice as if it were passing through water, in soft reverberations. My saints, the chills I feel running through me. He is telling the truth. He is telling the truth. And so, my waiting for him to write, to send word ? it has all been in vain. And I am an orphan in my soul. ?Chela, come back!? he prodded gently. ?Listen to me ? he never stopped thinking of us, and he missed us terribly. But it was the right thing for him to leave. His staying would only have made him bitter ? he would have had to choose bitterness, the same way our brothers and our mother choose bitterness.? My twelve-year old |
|
